I’m going to be an extra in a college humor video, a harry potter parody.

I’m going to die now.

The end.

—Jaad

p.s. Jesus H. Christ

the ups. they usually happen when i’m just outside on a beautiful day walking to or from class. or to or from a party. or to or from meeting some chill kids. or when i’m inside in my sweet ass dorm listening to sick jams. alone or with someone else. like, i am the absolute luckiest kid ever born. how the FUCK did shit work out this well? how did i end up at my dream school?  fuck if i know, but i’m so grateful. and i wouldn’t change any of it for the wooorrld.

the downs. like there’s absolutely no way i can go on. but there is no other option but to do so. when i’m more alone than i’ve ever been before. and it feels like it’s gonna last for fucking ever.  when not even miley can make me smile. the worst is when my thoughts turn to the worst things that i’ve ever experienced and the tears just perpetuate themselves.

i hope to god these fucking downs stop. like they’re not always so bad, but definitely a desperate drop in my stomach and i stop what i’m doing for a minute or two.

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but, then i just put my hands up, they’re playin’ my song, the butterflies fly away.

seriously though, like, holdin’ a burr, listening to loud ass good tunes, just forgetting about EVERYONE & EVERYTHING ELSE for like two seconds.  it’s kinda magical. 
or, chillin’ in a smoke-filled room listening to chill ass music and not giving a shit about anything. such a good feeling.

thanks, college? haha definitely. there’s a complete list of people i’d like to thank on twitter. (jk, but seriously i think i thanked like a million people via twitter last weekend hah)